I would like to write.

A book.

A cautionary book. Not a book about my experiences, how I am repenting and, perhaps, learning from my mistakes --- changing, becoming a better person. Not that type. A warning. An advisory. like an advisory the local news channels air on TV, warning people about severe weather coming their way; advising how people should act in a manner that protects their safety.

Perhaps I will fall into my old self and lie, try defend my self and my evil crimes, try to make myself seem the victim, the one who had no intention of hurt so therefore it is ok what I did.

I have to erase that mentality. It is not normal to think like that, it is disturbing, sickening, abominable.

I must change my ways. I need a new brain. Sometimes, I feel as if I am too far gone, past the point of returning, changing, and fixing. But with God, I can do the impossible.

I would like to write a book, to tell people that in this cruel, disgusting, adulterous world there exist people like me. People who lie, fake, use and abuse. People who lead disturbing lives, you would vomit. Everyone keeps saying, no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. I disagree. Some are mislead, lied to, and they fall into the traps of making these mistakes, of being made fools.

I would like to write a book. How can I write all this down?